Discount Christmas Photo Cards

Reasons to crawl under a rock

CURL and die
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three children in tow and asked loudly: "How do you charge for a shampoo and ********?"
- Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin TX

PAD PLEASE
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He threw a lot of facts and figures to me, and I wanted to follow the best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He returned and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
- Kate Newman, 46, Winston-Salem, NC

HO, HO, HO
I took a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took some shots. They came so I made copies and included one with each of our Christmas cards. A few days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look. Intrigued, I looked at the picture and I was shocked to discover that, in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!
- Anonymity

LADY GOLFER
I went to the golf shop comparing different types of golf balls. I was unhappy with the type of woman I had been used. After traveling for several minutes, I was approached by one of the gentlemen who works at the beauty shop.
He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with balls of men."
- Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

NUTS ABOUT YOU
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sells a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the window, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied: "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started laughing hysterically, the boy smiled, and I turned beet red and walked away. To date, my sister n ' has never let me forget.
- Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD

PRICELESS
A lady picked up several items in a discount store. When she finally got up to the auditor, she learned that one of his articles was priceless. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom rang and all the stores to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON THIRTEEN WAYS, Tampax, SUPER SIZE". It was bad enough, but someone in the back of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "bugs".
On a comparable business, a voice echoed back over the intercom.
"YOU WANT THE KIND you push with your thumb or the kind you pound with a hammer?"

MOTHER BOARDS
A teacher noticed that a little boy in the back of the class was squirming, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She returned to what was happening. He was very embarrassed and whispered that he had recently been circumcised and he was very itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what to do about it. He did so and returned to his class.
Suddenly there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your mom," she shouted. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could hold out until noon She came to fetch me to school. "

I took my young son to pay our cable bill television Cox Communications.

They had a bowl of candy on the counter for Halloween.

Imagine my embarrassment when my son was the bowl and yelled & q.